My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
