I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize