Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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