I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
