literally had 100 drinks last night.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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