My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
pray to the hookup gods
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
