Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im holly from the hills drunk
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
