I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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