i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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