No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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