smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
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