You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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