Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
