did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
