Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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