Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We need to feng shui this bitch.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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