Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
