theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
