I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
