This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
