My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
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