I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize