hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I smell stomach acid.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
