apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
