She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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