Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
