u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the day after is always just damage control
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
