I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
