Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
