Who did Billy Mays play for?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
