Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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