Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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