this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
