yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
