ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
