there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
