Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
it's like iHOP with fire
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
