yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
