Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
