He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
