she was so not down for the gang bang
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
