It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
