Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
