she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize