We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sry I called you an 8
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
