the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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