just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
