did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
