Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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