So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
