Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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