Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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