There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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