Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
