I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize