Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
