so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
