That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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