I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
