There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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