Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
