hotel room ftw
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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