question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
