i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
