Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
