He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize