Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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