My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
